Just when I feel like I’ve gotten it all figured out, it is time for real life again.
These past 12 weeks have been such an amazing and frustrating and happy and tiring but mostly a really pretty awesome time. I am so thankful that I was able to spend the first 3 months of Evan’s life with him without any other distractions. And I am very thankful that Ben was home with us for most of it, too. But I knew it had to end.
I am anxious and sad about sending Evan to daycare tomorrow and about how little I am going to see him during the work week. Is he going to have enough to eat? Is he going to eat too much for me to keep up? Is he going to stay the happy baby we’ve gotten to know? Am I going to miss something big while he’s away? I know this transition is going to be harder on me than on the baby.
I am a little excited to get back to work. I just wish I could do it without also losing time with the baby. But there is no perfect solution is there?
Well, this is what I signed up for. As of tomorrow, I am a working mom. Wish me luck.
PS – I’m sorry if I never read again.
my books. my life. 
Good luck and know that many of us have done this same thing and survived. But, welcome to parenthood… I feel like worrying about my child can be all-consuming at times. Food, safety, friends, development, etc. It can overwhelm you if you let it 🙂
LikeLike
I can completely empathize with you. You are right, it is more a mom issue than a kid issue. They need to be held, fed and their diaper changed. Having gone through all this, I think when they really need you (versus a caregiver) is when they are older. I grieved over not being there when they were little, but think that if I were going to pick a time to work, it would be then versus now. I’ll be thinking about you tomorrow. 🙂
LikeLike
I can sympathize with you. When I started caring for the baby of a friend, she was only 6 weeks old, and I sent her mother pictures all during the day. I made an album for her of the first 6 months. Maybe you can get the people at the daycare to snap a photo once and then, so you don’t miss so much. I am sorry that you have to go back to work so soon. I wish there was an easier answer. I am thinking about you today.
LikeLike
It’s hard to return. I remember those days. It was hard to get into a routine again, but I have to say, it felt good to talk to adults again! My Evan had colic and let me tell you, it was a nice break to return to work where I could get a little peace. LOL.
The 2nd time around was easier, but only because we used the same daycare and I knew the lady quite well at that point.
How did it go? You doing okay?
LikeLike